Tone policing shifts attention from what someone is saying to how they are saying it. When a person describes racism and is told to calm down, be more polite or stop being so angry, the conversation moves away from the harm and onto their behavior. The person with more power gets to set the terms of the discussion.
Black women in particular face the "angry Black woman" stereotype, which turns any strong emotion into proof of unreasonableness. In 1981, Audre Lorde gave a keynote titled "The Uses of Anger," arguing that anger at racism carries information and should be heard rather than silenced.
Tone policing shows up in workplaces, classrooms and public debate, as when protests are judged by their methods rather than their demands. Martin Luther King Jr.'s 1963 "Letter from Birmingham Jail" answered white clergy who called his movement's actions untimely. Anti-racist practice asks listeners to focus on the substance of a complaint and to notice whose emotions are treated as legitimate.